you are so dumb jokes Audiobooks

At age 50, Maria Leonard Olsen drank her way out of her 25-year marriage. She had, against advice, put all her eggs in the motherhood basket, willfully derailing her successful law career. As teenagers, her precious children did not need her in the hands-on way they previously had. Her husband and she had grown apart because, among other things, they failed to nurture that important relationship. She was depressed and stuck. When she turned 50, she had the distinct feeling that she was on the downward slope of her life. Actuarially speaking, she was. So when she turned 50, her gift to herself was to go on a crusade to make the most of whatever time she had left. She set out to do 50 new things that were significant, at least to her. The list spanned physical challenges, adventure travel, and lifestyle changes. Each taught her something about herself and about how she wanted to lead the next years of her life to come. This work follows the work she did to accomplish those 50 new things and shows readers how to make their own action lists - whether it be joining a knitting club or hiking the Himalayas, every item has significance for each individual and speaks to her needs and desires. The list is the match to spark the fire that will light the years after 50. Readers will hear about Maria's adventures and the rewards of each. Accomplishing new things, learning new skills, deepening personal and spiritual relationships, and seeking out challenges will add the spice to a life that may feel repetitive, insignificant, inauthentic, or just plain boring.

This ebook gives you 51 money mistakes you can avoid making in your twenties to achieve financial freedom later in life.<br><br>As an adult in your twenties, you tend to try to figure out your life’s financial future and also learn from your past mistakes to try creating a better tomorrow. In your twenties, you feel that adulthood is still new and thrilling. You have many things transpiring in your mind, such as buying a car, getting a house, and getting a paying job. All these desires make you feel like you are destined for riches very soon. It is such a wonderful time! But, although it is fun to be young, your twenties can shape or destroy your financial future. You must make great use of your time to maximize your potential, or else, you risk making costly decisions that can significantly impact your life ahead. If you are ready to build your ideal financial future properly, these are the 51 money mistakes to avoid in your twenties. 1, Failure to save for retirement: When you are in your twenties, retirement sometimes feels very far away, making you overlook it. However, failure to save for retirement is among the most frequent and significant money mistakes that you can commit. The advantage of saving money in your twenties is that you still have more time. The earlier you begin saving, the more you can benefit from compound interest rates. Besides your savings, your employer may offer you some money to help facilitate your retirement objectives through a work-sponsored retirement savings plan. An employer's contribution of only 5% of your salary amount can significantly impact the amount of money you will have upon retiring. Failure to save for retirement in your twenties will make you work for so long despite the aging factor, contribute more money for retirement later, or fail to retire. 2, The Mistake of Going into Credit Card Debt: For any twenty-year-old who earns less, unnecessary spending of lots of money on his credit card can be extremely tempting. It becomes easy for a twenty-year-old to place future financial expenses on his card to pay later. Unfortunately, many people in the twenties age bracket don't realize the extent to which debt can affect their lives. Getting yourself into a credit card debt can lead to extreme financial difficulties with time. Therefore, you should learn to respect and understand your credit to minimize the possibility of money mistakes in your twenties.

What can parents and other concerned adults do to prevent the next Sandy Hook? Are there red flags that warn us if our children might become victims or perpetrators of bullying, or of sexual assault? How do we know when a child or young adult is at risk for suicide, or just moody? These are certainly questions most parents have wondered about, especially at a time when childhood dangers seem increasingly hard to predict or control. Warning Signs is the first comprehensive book of its kind, explaining the underlying factors and signs of youth violence and aggression—and how to identify and guard against them. Topics include: violent media influences, bullying, hazardous friendships, sexual aggression and abuse, risky thinking and entitled attitudes, school safety, gun violence, mental health, and more. Doctors Brian Johnson and Laurie Berdahl provide specific, practical ideas, strategies, and tips based on current research and years of clinical experience. They even suggest language parents can use during tough conversations with their kids—or with another child’s parents. This timely guide will appeal to any adult who is worried about the levels of violence and aggression committed against and by today’s youth, and who wants to raise emotionally healthy, kind, safe children amidst today’s dangers.

Breakthrough Innovation Tools for Successful Leadership Innovation needs innovation: Innovation is broken. Business leadership and management struggle to find ways to crack through their own corporate politics or bureaucratic silos, to move from defense to offense, to nurture real breakthrough, to drive visionary creativity in ways that add new value to everything they do. In Innovating Innovation , David Morey, one of America’s leading strategic consultants, will teach, coach, and guide you across eleven concrete and pragmatic steps that unlock and drive day-to-day innovation in your business and help you gain a long-term competitive advantage in your marketplace. Make change and innovation happen: Innovating Innovation synergizes what is best in classic innovation theories with an insurgent strategic model inspired by one of Morey’s first corporate clients, Apple founder Steve Jobs. It shows how to lead innovation that creates the products of visionary genius without the necessity for actual genius. It provides practical tools and guidance on building and leading the teams, working conditions, organizational structures, and cultures of market-made and market-making innovation. It illustrates a roadmap to the disruptive periphery, the organizational margins at which real innovation actually takes place. Innovation can be taught: Innovating Innovation is a framework to counter failure. It directs you, the reader, to the consumer, the very person who will actually tell you how to innovate the benefits to create a future you can own. This book invites you to “think different,” to become a change leader, to go the “wrong” way to get to the right places. And it shows you how to apply the pragmatic lessons of Agile software development to absolutely everything and to accelerate your leadership career and your company’s success by stepping up from mere evolution to punctuated equilibrium, evolution as breakthrough. Your business needs unique innovation: You and your business need innovation as never before and unlike anyone else’s. This is lesson number one. And in the space of eleven chapters, Innovating Innovation offers lesson number two: You don’t need to be a genius to deliver the performances, products, and services of innovation at genius levels in the most opportunity-rich and threat-intensive business environment in history. Your management and leadership skills will improve immensely, taking your business to a level of innovation success beyond what it has ever achieved before. Innovating Innovation is a step-by-step handbook for teaching, and at times even tricking, your organization, your culture, and your company into real-world change. After reading this new battlefield manual for innovation, you will: Learn the Disruptive Periphery Concept and how it can give you the tools to help your business Discover a practical marketing-centric focus applied to innovation Reap the benefits of lessons developed from thirty years of real-world global consulting and training experience

This ebook gives you helpful tips on how to make him love you more.<br><br>Tip number one. Don’t attempt to change your man. As tempting as it can be, don’t attempt to change your man to suit your ways, especially if he’s happy the way he is. If your man feels like you accept him for who he is, he will cherish and love you more. There is a lot of power behind a woman who inspires her man to be the best version of himself without making him feel imperfect. Tip number two. Don’t force your man to like the same things as you do. Understand that your man is a separate human being from you, and he had a life before meeting you. If you find that your likes are conflicting with his, don't make him feel guilty for not enjoying the same stuff as you do. Your man will feel more peaceful and will love you more for not pushing him around like a child to do the same things as you do.

Popular blogger Ilana Jacqueline offers smart and savvy advice, humor, and practical tips for living with an invisible chronic illness. Do you live with a chronic, debilitating, yet invisible condition? You may feel isolated, out of step, judged, lonely, or misunderstood—and that’s on top of dealing with the symptoms of your actual illness. Take heart. You are not alone, although sometimes it can feel that way. Written by a blogger who suffers from an invisible chronic illness, Surviving and Thriving with an Invisible Chronic Illness offers peer-to-peer support to help you stay sane, be your own advocate, and get back to living your life. This compelling guide is written for anyone suffering with an illness no one can see—such as postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS), chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), fibromyalgia, multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS), Lyme disease, lupus, dysautonomia, or even multiple sclerosis (MP). This book will tell you everything you need to know about living with a complicated, invisible condition—from how to balance sex, dating, and relationships to handling work and school with unavoidable absences. You’ll also learn to navigate judg-y or skeptical relatives and strangers and—most importantly—manage your medical care. Suffering from a chronic illness doesn’t mean you can’t live an active, engaged life. This book will show you how.

Love is one of our strongest biological drives, but it can be frustratingly elusive and misunderstood. Music, literature, and movies are filled with common folklore about love and millions of TV viewers tune in to shows like The Bachelor and read the latest relationship tome with one simple hope: to uncover some nugget of mystic wisdom that will help them understand the exciting, addictive, insane experience called 'love'. Men Chase, Women Choose, is the first book to offer cutting-edge research that explains how the brain works when two people first meet, start to date, fall in love, and then move into long-term, real love. Maslar's unique approach brings together the latest and most relevant neurological, physiological, and biochemical research on the science of love while incorporating stories and examples of composite characters based on participants of her popular classes and seminars. She explains that 'love' is actually neural activity as well as the presence or absence of certain neurotransmitters that bathe the brain, and it follows a precisely timed path of four, easy-to-understand phases: the exciting norepinephrine-charged meeting phase; the addictive dopamine dating phase; the insane falling-in-love and losing your mind phase; and finally, the safe, warm and wonderful, true, long-term love phase. For the past decade Maslar has made it her mission to learn all she can about the science behind falling in love, including its evolutionary benefits. Her goal?and the purpose of this book?is to help men and women find and maintain love by understanding and applying the science behind it. The bottom line? We actually can have long-lasting, nourishing, exciting, passionate love with little or no risk!

Men tend to prefer women who make them feel great about themselves. Explained in this e-book are the 50 ways to make him want you;<br><br>Tip number one. Ensure that you have an attractive appearance Men are naturally visual. They want to feel attracted to a potential partner. Once you invest in improving your appearance, your man gets signals that; you respect yourself, appreciate the importance of presentation, have your unique style/look, and take care of yourself physically. You are what you wear. What you wear exposes a lot about your self-worth and value to your man. Tip number two. Make him feel acknowledged and well-received Understand that men want women to know about their worlds and accomplishments. If you’re at a party or social gathering and he’s expressing his opinion on matters on anything social, political, economic, and environmental, try to supplement in support of his views. Men LOVE it when you understand and acknowledge their points of view.

Have you ever spent 10 minutes looking for your reading glasses, and they were on the top of your head? Or, have you walked into a room and forgotten why you went there? Where are your car keys? What’s normal aging? When should you be concerned? Is there anything you can do to maintain your brain health as you age? This book provides useful, achievable actions you can take, accurate information about identifying problems, and real solutions. Our team offers anecdotes and scientifically validated information -- important tools in separating myth from reality. Our book is different from others on the market because our information and recommendations are based on scientifically validated, peer-reviewed studies published in reputable journals by world-renowned researchers in the neuroscience field, including our authors. We separate fact from fiction to ensure that our recommendations are practical, useful, achievable, and measurable. Our authors are recognized experts in the field of aging, cognition, and brain health. Most of the competition is not. Written by a world-renowned cognitive specialist, an extraordinary housecall physician, and an award-winning author on eldercare issues – all of whom specialize in caring for those with cognitive impairment -- this book is based on our expertise, practical experience, and peer-reviewed research. In addition to providing scientifically validated information and practical advice, our book separates myth from reality. Brain health, cognitive impairment, and mood disorders are serious issues. With the Baby Boomer market growing older and growing concerned about their and their parents’ brain health, the marketplace has attracted frauds, charlatans, and some well-meaning but poorly informed people who offer unproven and often dangerous products. Our authors are recognized experts, our practical experience is solid, and our science is peer-reviewed and validated.

Everything you need to know about love, life, relationships, sex, men, and being a badass Advice from girl bosses of all kinds: Women are, far and away, the Oral Sex. Women’s Studies scholar Becca Anderson has gathered the wisdom from a chorus of fabulous femmes for this one-of-a-kind advice book. From housewives to Hollywood starlets, from standup comedians to startup entrepreneurs, these badass women offer unvarnished and unabashed opinions and share their frank and forthright thinking on the wild world of relationships. A sassy collection of woman wisdom: This delightfully dishy gathering of gal pals is like having a heart-to-heart with 200 of your closest friends. Garrulous girls and loquacious ladies from every walk of life unleash their wicked wit in this humorous and enlightening compilation and tell it like it is. Topics include What the World Needs Now, Love Hurts, Lost Love, and Are Men Really Necessary. Learn and laugh at the real stories of the amazing women you love: true tales about wild women of yore that entertain as much as they enlighten. From Anais Nin, Lily Tomlin, Amy Bloom, Dorothy Allison, Drew Barrymore, Chrissy Teigan and beyond, there's no shortage of sass, sarcasm, or sizzle and a few shocks along the way! In Badass Women Give the Best Advice , readers will find: Wisdom about sex, dating, break ups, weddings, the prerequisites for the perfect kiss, and more! Quotes and true stories from famous women and girl bosses Quizzes, love and sex bucket lists and topics like “Size Really Does Matter,” and “Cry Me a River, The Weepiest Romantic Movies Ever” that will spice up your sex and love life Be enlightened with these no nonsense takes on dating, love life, sex, self-love, and more!