larry the cucumber Audiobooks

I never intended on time travelling to the Stone Age during my Special Ops mission – but it’s not the first thing in my life to get effed up. To say I didn’t have a happy childhood is an understatement – that’s why I joined the military first chance I got. And to be honest – living alone on the beach isn’t the worst way to live out my days. But all that changes the moment Fancy winds up on my coastline. She’s sexy, confident and smart as hell. And she seems downright happy to be here. Chipper in ways I really can’t handle. And she’s got ideas about making a baby. Plans, really. Funny thing is, it’s not me she’s interested in. She wants to hatch this egg I found. She thinks our future depends on it. Me? The only thing I want is her.

Is this man: A) a super-hot NFL player, B) the guy you’re sexting, or C) your new boss? If you’re Carrie Herron, the answer is: D) all of the above . First, Carrie starts exchanging steamy text messages with the sexy single dad she meets in line at the grocery store. Then she lands a job as the live-in nanny for the daughter of the Milwaukee Dragons’ newest star. With any luck, she’ll be back on her financial feet before the next cosplay convention rolls around. But when Carrie shows up for work and realizes that her new boss is the guilty pleasure in her phone, she has no choice but to try to keep things professional. Oh, how would Poison Ivy handle a temptation like Seth Chamberlain? After getting traded from Houston to Milwaukee, Seth’s having a tough time keeping his head in the game, let alone making sure that his daughter is fitting in. So if the only nanny that Madison will tolerate is a grown woman who likes comic books even more than she does . . . well, so be it. Too bad the nanny is also the gorgeous redhead Seth’s been flirting with all this time. But with Carrie’s knowing glances and kissable lips driving him wild, Seth must decide whether he’s ready to put everything on the line.

When Alaskan native Sullivan orders a bride, he’s not planning on falling in love. A recent transplant to his childhood home in the middle of nowhere, he wants company. More than company—he wants a woman in his bed every damn day. Sully’s financially independent because of his own hard work and determination. His mail-order bride has other ideas. According to Sophie, the Universe dictates our path. In fact, it led her here. Even though she’s running from a not-so-distant debt collector, she’s letting fate decide how long she stays in this unfamiliar place. When they’re wrapped in one another’s arms these two are wilder than this untamed land. But you can’t stay in bed forever—eventually you have to step outside and look up at the sky. Trouble is, Sullivan and Sophie see very different things. Dear Reader, Sullivan is the alpha you’ve been waiting for. He’s strong, successful, and all kinds of sexy. His bride may be looking up at the stars, but he prefers using his telescope. It’s big. Huge, really. Ans capable of making a woman see things in a whole new way. The mountains are calling, and Sully is ready to show you something more magical than the North Star. #OhMyStars #NiceScope xo, Frankie

Ayala, 18, has always been a hopeless romantic and a dreamer. After a whirlwind year, she’s ready to settle into her new life at the Santa Cruz tree house, with Jasper, Isaac, Regan, and the other members of the pack. When she suggests they host a bonfire, Jasper and the rest agree. It seems like a magical night. But when Ayala leans in to kiss Jasper, he backs away. She’s ready to give up on him as her mate when fate forces them into a cross-country road trip together. Soon, they learn they have more in common than they thought. Might he be her true mate after all?

Things just got royally complicated! We have reputations for a reason. His? Spencer Beckett: Princeton Charming. Ivy League Playboy. Rich AF. Hers? Charlotte Hayes: Campus sweetheart. Virgin. Working her booty off to get through this last semester. When a bet pushes these two together it's fire and ice ... and Charlotte is melting. Fast. But Charlotte has a chip on her shoulder. She doesn't believe that fairy tales exist in the real world. One kiss tells her this is a bad idea. Two kisses tells her he's too good to be true. Three kisses and she's royally screwed. Spencer Beckett might be everyone else's Prince Charming but can he sweep this princess off her feet? ** Kissing Princeton Charming is book one in the four book Princeton Charming Series

When an ultrasound reveals the truth about Tia’s pregnancy, the compound is riddled with fear. They know that it means one thing -- death. Unless Banks can find a cure. Stress weaves its way into Tia’s heart and a break from the harsh reality is just what the doctor ordered. But a trip to Emerson’s family home reveals yet another hidden secret and Tia is confronted with a shocking reality. The man she thought she knew so well has been keeping the truth of who he is from everyone. Emerson has his own demons. Can he finally prove himself to the woman he loves? And will she learn to trust him before it’s too late? The Wife Pact is book five in a six-book dystopian romance series, which must be read in order. The passion is high but the stakes are even higher. Tia and her rugged husbands are in the wilds of Alaska fighting for their lives - and for their love.

From paranormal romance author Bella Lore comes a collection of nine epic novellas, guaranteed to make your heart swoon and your jaw drop. In Book #8, THE ALPHA’S DESIRE, Sasha is a fierce Gamma, the toughest the pack has ever known. Hunter is a powerful Alpha, and he wants Sasha as his mate. Sasha likes hunter, but she is unsure. Is he really her one and only mate? Or is her true mate still out there, waiting for her? In the meantime, with other women vying for Hunter’s love—and with their pack under attack—a twist of fate may just change everything. Book #9 in the series—THE LUNA’S CHOICE—is now also available!

Spinning-off of her beloved Morgan Ranch series, New York Times bestselling author Kate Pearce launches a new contemporary Western romance series about a neighboring ranching family trying to lasso love . . . It might be the pride of hard work on rugged terrain, the welcoming community, or the memories—but wherever the folks of Morgantown may roam, they have a way of coming back to the ranch . . . There’s a reason Jackson Lymond left the Air Force, but he’s not telling a soul. He’d rather keep things simple, while trying to start a new life helping his older brother on their northern California ranch. At least Morgantown’s flirty local bartender can keep his mind off the past—that is, until he runs into Daisy Miller . . . Daisy doesn’t really expect Jackson to remember her. Back in school she did her best to blend in—and pretend she didn’t have five brothers who’d hogtie any boy who even looked at her. These days though, she and Jackson might have more in common than just their ranching relatives. After all, they both left home only to return. Trouble is, under the watch of her fiercely protective family, Daisy is longing for some privacy. Letting Jackson into her life could make that even more difficult—or it might be the second chance they’re both looking for . . . “Pearce’s fans and contemporary romance readers will want to pick this one up and read it to the end.” —Publishers Weekly

When River orders a wife, he’s hoping she’ll cure his writer’s block. But when he meets his bride, he knows she’s more than a quick-fix— she’s his muse. Rose needs a quiet place to record her yoga videos and a lakeside cabin in the middle of nowhere is better than her L.A. apartment. Yes, it means she’s a mail-order bride but Rose isn’t scared of a challenge. River is handsome and knows how to use his hands …. so what if he’s a bit of a recluse? She’ll take a deep breath and take it one day at a time. Except someone is after her— and tracking her every move. She may be his muse—but she needs a hero. Dear Reader, River’s more than a mountain man, he’s a romantic at heart. He’ll make you swoon, sweat, and have you packing your bags to be the next mail-order bride in this series. xo, frankie

In When the Goddess Wakes , the final book of the Ring-Sworn trilogy, Howard Andrew Jones returns to the five realms of the Dendressi to conclude his heroic, adventure-filled epic fantasy trilogy. The Naor hordes have been driven from the walls, but the Dendressi forces are scattered and fragmented, and their gravest threat lies before them. For their queen has slain the ruling council and fled with the magical artifacts known as the hearthstones, and she is only a few days from turning them to her mad ends. The Altenerai corps has suffered grievous casualties, and Elenai’s hearthstone and her source of sorcerous power has been shattered. She and her friends have no choice but to join with the most unlikely of allies. Their goal: to find the queen’s hiding place and somehow stop her before she wakes the goddess who will destroy them all… Praised for his ability to write modern epic fantasy that engrosses and entertains, Howard Andrews Jones delivers a finale to his trilogy that reveals the dark secrets and resolves the mysteries and conflicts introduced in the first two books of this series.