funny ways to die Audiobooks

Scarlett:Blytheville, South Carolina—have you heard of it? No? Yeah, neither had I, until today. Want to know why? It’s in the middle of nowhere, and I’ve been given the ultimatum of either living on the street in Boston or accepting a job transfer down to this blank spot on the map where people say things like: “Bless Your Heart,” “Over Yonder,” and “I reckon.” Oh, and they don’t cuss, which makes survival a bit challenging for me with my flavorful vocabulary.I’ll cut to the chase. On day one of my new Southern lifestyle, I land myself in the hospital and meet Austin, one of the two nurses on staff. I would consider this guy absolutely gorgeous if I were into the whole tanned, smokey-blue eyes, and messy sex-hair look, but I’m … not. Okay, I’m lying. If Austin wasn’t my type before, he definitely is now. However, I was sort of rude to him. While I’m sure my first impression was probably my last, maybe I can turn on a little Southern charm (if I can figure out how to do that) and change his mind. Austin:This chick is crazy, hot as hell, and more wound up than a taunted wild animal. I might be out of my mind, but I’m intrigued by her short temper and lack of filter. She thinks I’m just funny and sweet as pie, which I know annoys her, but she hasn’t spent time with me outside of work yet, so she doesn’t know I can dish out more than she can take. Miss Scarlett thinks she’s tough and intimidating because she’s from big, bad Boston, but she’s about to learn how things really go down in the South.The question is, will Scarlett and Austin ever see to eye-to-eye, or will they give up the fight long enough to see what they’ve been missing?

Mirabella is running for her life when two huge, muscular alien warriors come to guard her. Will she lose her heart when she is…Shared by the Monstrum? Mirabella is a reluctant ruler—she never asked to be the Ruling Member of the Sacred Seven—the governing body of Opulex. But things get much worse when all the other members of the Sacred Seven are murdered by a ruthless serial killer. Miri goes into hiding but help is on the way in the form of two huge, muscular Monstrum warriors who vow to guard her with their lives. Saxon and Lynx are Monstrum Shifters. They can appear humanoid or Shift partially or fully into huge beast-like predators. The two have a special bond they formed as boys which enables them to be more effective warriors. However, it also means they have to share a mate…in every way. A past mating with the woman they both loved ended in tragedy, which caused them to put their hearts on a shelf and vow never to love again. Miri feels an instant attraction to both the big Monstrum and they want her too, but the past stands in the way of their happiness. In the meantime, they have sworn to protect her no matter what. But when Miri’s fate takes her to visit the Oracle at Delphi Prime, their relationship is turned on its head. For on this strange planet, every male is required to have a “sex pet.” When Miri pretends to “belong” to the two Monstrum warriors, will she lose her heart? You’ll have to read this hot ménage, MFM, “touch her and die,” bodyguard trope novel, Shared by the Monstrum to find out!

Romance author Elizabeth Russell lives alone, works alone, and that’s that way she likes it. No ties, no relationships, no complications. But when her apartment is broken into and it looks more personal than per-chance, she finds herself running to the only person who can protect her—too bad he also has the most potential to crush her world. Former Marine turned securities expert, Zach Steele doesn’t do regret or second chances. So when a sexy heartbreak from his past shows up on his doorstep, desperate for a safe place to crash, his first reaction is, Hell no. But with a stalker quickly closing in and the only woman he’s ever loved looking up at him like he’s still “that” guy, Zach offers up his protection. Working together to bring her stalker down brings them closer than ever, and Zach realizes that it’s not just Elizabeth’s life that’s in danger...but also his guarded heart.

Pleasure and pain once again intertwine in the second installment of Sparrow Beckett’s Masters Unleashed series, following Finding Master Right. Known as a brat in the kink community, Everly can intimidate even the most experienced Dom. Then she meets Ambrose, a dominant who finds her ways amusing. Not only does he charm the pants off her, he makes her crave his mastery. After being abandoned by his submissive, Ambrose has avoided any serious connections—until he meets Everly, who refuses to be ignored. But just when he thinks he’s found the perfect sub, he finds out she’s an anti-poverty activist with harsh opinions about the rich. Telling her he’s wealthy will ruin everything, but he can’t collar her with a huge lie hanging over them. Will the best thing that’s ever happened to him walk away when she finds out the truth?

Shelby Lynn Collins left Phoenix fifteen years ago to pursue her dream of becoming a country music singer. Now the two-time Entertainer of the Year is back in Phoenix for a concert that will put the exclamation point on her career. Until she receives an e-mail from a deranged killer, and becomes a target. Even worse, the Detective assigned to the case is the man she left behind. It's bittersweet torture being protected by the only man she's ever loved, and the only man who has the power to break her heart. Mike Hanson is an ex-Marine turned Homicide Detective, with an ingrained ability to find the bad guys. When a body turns up that points to a connection to the famous singer in town for a concert, he has no choice but to get involved. As the killer gets more violent, Mike gets closer to the one woman who makes him feel again. Now he's going to pull in every favor owed, and push himself harder than ever to protect the woman who broke his heart, because he can't imagine a world without her. Even if she leaves him again.

In the follow-up to Risking It All, hailed by Lauren Layne as “the perfect escapist read,” the heartthrobs of the Naked Men blog and podcast get a little too real about friendship, love, and sex. For one wealthy bachelor, the trouble starts when all three collide. . . . After narrowly surviving a bus crash in high school with his best friends, science geek Knox Davis resolved to become so successful that he could have anything and everything he wants. Now he’s über-wealthy, a huge business success, and a notorious ladies’ man. Knox refuses to limit himself to one woman, but when his latest conquest—a blond beauty from the Alaskan bush—challenges his superficial ways, Knox begins to see the world through her eyes, and finds he likes what he sees. A nurturer at heart, Madison Abbott wants to put down roots. She left Alaska to meet Mr. Right—and to track down Logan, the half-brother she’s never met. Instead, she finds Knox. Although the sexy-as-sin bachelor may not seem like marriage material, Madison’s starting to think that Knox is The One. But Knox refuses to settle down, especially once he learns that Madison is his best friend’s little sister. Now it’s up to her to convince Knox that she’s everything he really wants. Catch all of USA Today bestselling author Christi Barth’s charming Naked Men novels: RISKING IT ALL WANTING IT ALL GIVING IT ALL TRYING IT ALL

Danielle Bordeaux was used to danger. As a doctor with the Center for Disease Control she thrived on the adventure and challenge of battling the world's worst diseases, in the world's worst places. When Ebola breaks out in a small village in Ghana, she and her team are prepared for the worst. But what she finds is a virus made even more deadly by human hands. And when rebels attack the camp, rescue comes from the last man she ever expected to see again. It hurts every time she looks at him, but also brings a sweet torture that she's not sure she can deny. Damon Dupree is an ex-Marine for hire. A former sniper and an ace helicopter pilot, he goes where the money and excitement take him. The government has him playing babysitter to a genius inventor, bent on finding a cure for Ebola—but a frantic call has him racing to save the one woman from his past that he can't touch—and can't forget. With a killer bent on infecting anyone close with a mutated virus, can he save the only woman who's ever meant anything to him - before they lose everything?

From paranormal romance author Bella Lore comes a collection of nine epic novellas, guaranteed to make your heart swoon and your jaw drop. In Book #6, PROMISED TO THE ALPHA, Nicole has spent all her life dreaming of who her mate will be. She spends her days roaming the forest, exploring with her best friend Shelby, imagining the future. Until one day, Gavin—the Alpha of a neighboring pack—makes an unexpected visit. Nicole has never heard of such a thing happening before. And when Gavin finally arrives, he says that he’s here to see Nicole—and that a prophecy foretold their meeting. Will Nicole fall for the handsome, powerful Alpha? Is Gavin her fate? Books #7-#9 in the series—THE ALPHA’S BRIDE, THE ALPHA’S DESIRE, and THE LUNA’S CHOICE—are now also available!

Bound together by a brand… Kept apart by the unyielding rules of the Pack. My foster brother, Nick and I are destined to be Fated Mates But when his Beast comes out on the night my NEED is on me Will we commit an unforgivable sin together? Being an orphan is tough…going through the foster care system is even tougher. I never would have made it through without my foster brother, Nick Callahan, to guide and protect me. But Nick and I have a troubled past. See, he’s full-blooded Were and I’m half Were and back before our fathers died, they swore an oath to be blood brothers and had both Nick and I branded to prove that we were family. Nick and I went our separate ways after we got out of the system, but I made the mistake of going back to my hometown of Wolverton on the night of the Open Breeding. And who should be there but Nick—my foster brother and protector and the one and only man I’ve ever really loved. But we’re forbidden to be together—the same brands that mark us as “family” keep us forever apart. And there’s another problem—Nick has a secret, one he’s been keeping from me for years. You see, he’s not a normal Were—he doesn’t shift into a wolf. Instead, he has a beast inside, half man/half wolf—an eight foot tall monster that hungers for me just as much as Nick does. Now I must choose between my foster brother and breaking the Unbreakable Laws of the pack. But under the full moon when his beast comes out and the Breeding Fever makes me crazy with need and desire, will I really have a choice? You’ll have to read The Brand that Binds, book two in the Forbidden Omegaverse series to find out… This book needs all the trigger warnings. It has the death of parents, (although that happens off-screen, so to speak) childhood trauma within the foster system, and some near-misses with assault. If you have a history of any of these things, you might find this book upsetting.

I never intended on time travelling to the Stone Age during my Special Ops mission – but it’s not the first thing in my life to get effed up. To say I didn’t have a happy childhood is an understatement – that’s why I joined the military first chance I got. And to be honest – living alone on the beach isn’t the worst way to live out my days. But all that changes the moment Fancy winds up on my coastline. She’s sexy, confident and smart as hell. And she seems downright happy to be here. Chipper in ways I really can’t handle. And she’s got ideas about making a baby. Plans, really. Funny thing is, it’s not me she’s interested in. She wants to hatch this egg I found. She thinks our future depends on it. Me? The only thing I want is her.