funny threats to say Audiobooks

A Man Cave Standalone - HOT ROMANTIC COMEDY I just wanted an easy summer job… That didn’t happen. Now, I’m in a living nightmare as I work alongside this monster of a man with mesmerizing emerald eyes that look at me inappropriately every time I see him. To add insult to injury, he has a tan I just want to lick, and a butt worth drooling over every time he purposefully walks by me. But, he's an asshat, and looks are everything. I mean, aren't. LOOKS. ARE. NOT. EVERYTHING. Why do I have to keep reminding myself of this? His job is to clean, cook, and tend to the house we work in. That's why I call him the manservant. Oh, and because it drives him nuts. That's what he gets for torturing me. This is a story of little restraint, too much desire, questionable actions, no strength whatsoever, and the best sex I've ever had. The question is: Do I fall for this crude manservant whose idea of a fun time is to tie people up and do obscene things, or do I give him a taste of his own medicine? All I'm going to say is . . . Things get weird, twisted, then hot, then weird again, and—you get my drift. Go ahead and laugh. It might not be so funny if it happened to you. *A divine comedy filled with humorous satire and sexy moments that lead to a love that lasts—a perfect beach read if you enjoy romance.*

From paranormal romance author Bella Lore comes a collection of nine epic novellas, guaranteed to make your heart swoon and your jaw drop. On the eve of her eighteenth birthday, Bria expects to hear the announcement she’s anticipated for two years: that she will wed Nathaniel, her true love. But then her Alpha breaks the news—and her heart. Bria will never see Nathaniel again. Instead, she will be mated to Jeremiah, a wolf outside of the pack. Jeremiah is strong and handsome, a worthy wolf. But Bria will have to leave her pack, her family, her home, and everything she’s ever known. Above all, she’ll have to leave Nathaniel. Can Bria learn to love Jeremiah? Or will her heart always truly belong to Nathaniel? Books #5-#9 in the series—MY TRUE ALPHA, PROMISED TO THE ALPHA, THE ALPHA’S BRIDE, THE ALPHA’S DESIRE, and THE LUNA’S CHOICE—are now also available!

Scarlett:Blytheville, South Carolina—have you heard of it? No? Yeah, neither had I, until today. Want to know why? It’s in the middle of nowhere, and I’ve been given the ultimatum of either living on the street in Boston or accepting a job transfer down to this blank spot on the map where people say things like: “Bless Your Heart,” “Over Yonder,” and “I reckon.” Oh, and they don’t cuss, which makes survival a bit challenging for me with my flavorful vocabulary.I’ll cut to the chase. On day one of my new Southern lifestyle, I land myself in the hospital and meet Austin, one of the two nurses on staff. I would consider this guy absolutely gorgeous if I were into the whole tanned, smokey-blue eyes, and messy sex-hair look, but I’m … not. Okay, I’m lying. If Austin wasn’t my type before, he definitely is now. However, I was sort of rude to him. While I’m sure my first impression was probably my last, maybe I can turn on a little Southern charm (if I can figure out how to do that) and change his mind. Austin:This chick is crazy, hot as hell, and more wound up than a taunted wild animal. I might be out of my mind, but I’m intrigued by her short temper and lack of filter. She thinks I’m just funny and sweet as pie, which I know annoys her, but she hasn’t spent time with me outside of work yet, so she doesn’t know I can dish out more than she can take. Miss Scarlett thinks she’s tough and intimidating because she’s from big, bad Boston, but she’s about to learn how things really go down in the South.The question is, will Scarlett and Austin ever see to eye-to-eye, or will they give up the fight long enough to see what they’ve been missing?

In a world where women are seen as a commodity to barter, Alaska promised a sanctuary. But to stay, I have to enter the wife lottery. Six men, one wife . And I have no say in who those men will be. It's more than a game of chance--it's my life falling into the hands of strangers. But the men who win my hand are ruggedly handsome and promise to protect me until death do us part. Fallon and his strong will. Giles and his protective streak. Salinger and his easy smile. Banks and his intellect. Emerson and his faith. Huxley and his charm. I want them all, each for a different reason. My body is awake, my heart beats wild. But I'm also a woman running from a past that's catching up. Fast. My father is coming for me and he'll make my husbands pay--and that's not a gamble. That's a guarantee. *The Wife Lottery is book one of a six book series. Passion and suspense fill the pages of this dystopian romance. The world as we know it may be over, but Tia and her six men of Alaska aren't giving up without a fight.

Pleasure and pain once again intertwine in the second installment of Sparrow Beckett’s Masters Unleashed series, following Finding Master Right. Known as a brat in the kink community, Everly can intimidate even the most experienced Dom. Then she meets Ambrose, a dominant who finds her ways amusing. Not only does he charm the pants off her, he makes her crave his mastery. After being abandoned by his submissive, Ambrose has avoided any serious connections—until he meets Everly, who refuses to be ignored. But just when he thinks he’s found the perfect sub, he finds out she’s an anti-poverty activist with harsh opinions about the rich. Telling her he’s wealthy will ruin everything, but he can’t collar her with a huge lie hanging over them. Will the best thing that’s ever happened to him walk away when she finds out the truth?

“I never thought I could want anyone as much as I wanted Nash, then I met you”~Royal When I was sixteen I was afflicted with a terrible curse...I fell in love with my straight best friend. I never thought I’d move past my feelings for Nash and find someone who could love me in return, until the day a gorgeous marine plopped himself down in my chair and asked me to ink him. I’m falling fast for Zade, but my feelings for Nash are still very real. When life starts getting complicated and Nash speaks the words I never thought I’d hear, the only thing I want is for us to find a way to make this work...together. “What if I told you, you'd never have to choose?”~Zade I thought I’d stay in the marines for life, that was the plan. But after a traumatic event I couldn’t make myself re-enlist when my contract was up. Confused and unsure what to do next I called up my best friend for a place to stay. What I didn’t count on was my best friend’s boyfriend practically throwing a sexy tattoo artist at me to keep me busy. Royal is everything I’ve ever wanted and his roommate, Nash, is starting to grow on me, too. “A few weeks ago I thought I was straight. Now I'm sandwiched between two sweaty men. Can't say I do anything half-assed.” ~Nash Of course I’ve noticed that my best friend, Royal is crazy good looking. I have eyes, that doesn’t mean I’m into guys. Although, when I start to notice that his new boyfriend, Zade, is pretty hot too, that makes me start to question things a little. Not to mention the dreams I keep having of the three of us together. I’m willing to try if they are. **This is NOT a love triangle, just good old fashioned man-on-man-on-man love **Every book in the Heathens Ink series can be read as a stand-alone, but it’s way more fun to read them in order.

As an Omega, 17-year-old Sarah is used to being at the bottom of the pecking order, even in her new pack and new high school. But her usually-boring life changes when she turns 18. She expects to shift—and nothing happens. Now, as if being an Omega isn’t bad enough, Sarah is also human. But Sarah, to her surprise, soon finds her mate: in the pack’s handsome and compassionate Alpha. And the lowly Omega finds herself rocketing to the top of her pack’s status as the new Luna. Just as it seems that life is finally going her way, Sarah learns of a terrible betrayal that results in tragic death, exile, and upheaval of what should have been her storybook ending… Or does it? In Book 3, Sarah joins forces with her trusted and true friend, Ayala. Together, they search for Ayala’s true mate, attempt to unlock her shifter powers, and fend off threats from the deadly Coello. Can they escape his mercenaries, Isaac and Regan? Or will Sarah and Ayala fall prey before they can find their true mates?

Some legends describe him as a god, while others say he is a devil that seeks to kill the gods to gain his freedom. They had given him a name... Darious. His plan was to send every demon back into the pit and his weapon was the fury that raged within him. Saving the humans who avoided him like a dangerous plague, Darious was stunned to find emerald green eyes staring up at him without fear. Little did Kyoko know that one smoldering glance could tempt a god and blaze his passion that had only known fury. Surrounded by the guardians that love and protect her, do any of them stand a chance against the black winged angel or the demons that have silently invaded the city? Kyoko finds out that it's hard to run away from Darious when he's faster then she is.

From paranormal romance author Bella Lore comes a collection of nine epic novellas, guaranteed to make your heart swoon and your jaw drop. In Book #6, PROMISED TO THE ALPHA, Nicole has spent all her life dreaming of who her mate will be. She spends her days roaming the forest, exploring with her best friend Shelby, imagining the future. Until one day, Gavin—the Alpha of a neighboring pack—makes an unexpected visit. Nicole has never heard of such a thing happening before. And when Gavin finally arrives, he says that he’s here to see Nicole—and that a prophecy foretold their meeting. Will Nicole fall for the handsome, powerful Alpha? Is Gavin her fate? Books #7-#9 in the series—THE ALPHA’S BRIDE, THE ALPHA’S DESIRE, and THE LUNA’S CHOICE—are now also available!

I never intended on time travelling to the Stone Age during my Special Ops mission – but it’s not the first thing in my life to get effed up. To say I didn’t have a happy childhood is an understatement – that’s why I joined the military first chance I got. And to be honest – living alone on the beach isn’t the worst way to live out my days. But all that changes the moment Fancy winds up on my coastline. She’s sexy, confident and smart as hell. And she seems downright happy to be here. Chipper in ways I really can’t handle. And she’s got ideas about making a baby. Plans, really. Funny thing is, it’s not me she’s interested in. She wants to hatch this egg I found. She thinks our future depends on it. Me? The only thing I want is her.