funny things to say to people Audiobooks

Pleasure and pain once again intertwine in the second installment of Sparrow Beckett’s Masters Unleashed series, following Finding Master Right. Known as a brat in the kink community, Everly can intimidate even the most experienced Dom. Then she meets Ambrose, a dominant who finds her ways amusing. Not only does he charm the pants off her, he makes her crave his mastery. After being abandoned by his submissive, Ambrose has avoided any serious connections—until he meets Everly, who refuses to be ignored. But just when he thinks he’s found the perfect sub, he finds out she’s an anti-poverty activist with harsh opinions about the rich. Telling her he’s wealthy will ruin everything, but he can’t collar her with a huge lie hanging over them. Will the best thing that’s ever happened to him walk away when she finds out the truth?

Sweet dreams can easily become nightmares. Rebecca Yaeger finds more at the masquerade ball than she bargained for. Getting attacked by some crazed she-devil, complete with claws and fangs, certainly wasn’t on her agenda for the evening. In a few slashing moments, Becky learns things about her friends and the man she loves she never would have suspected. When Simon rescues Becky from an unprovoked attack by one of his Pride, he finally confirms what he’s long suspected: she’s his mate. Carrying her off to his home and dressing her wounds gives him the chance he’s been waiting for—to taste her and mark her has his. And she’s far sweeter than anything, or anyone, he’s ever had before. Just as their happiness begins to take hold, a strange illness begins to haunt Becky, threatening to turn their sweet dreams into a nightmare.

I pull into the diner of this small mountain town, knowing there’s only two things I want: To put down roots and find someone to build a life with. And when I slide into the booth, the woman who pours me a cup of joe is sweet as sugar and warm as apple pie. She serves me up a “Josie Special” and I know she’s made to order—the only woman for me. My past is dark, too dark for a ray of light like her. But she cracks open the clouds and lets the sunshine in … she sees me as the man I can become. Her father wants me gone. He thinks he knows all about me. But he’s wrong, and I’ll do whatever I can to clear my name. For Josie. For our love. For the life we will build together. Dear Reader, You’re going to melt when you meet Beau Montgomery—he’s BUILT, if you know what I mean. He’s all man, all alpha—and all yours. This mountain is full of babies, and he’s gonna make one fine baby-daddy—guaranteed! xo, frankie

Baby it’s cold outside…but things are about to heat up. I missed the last bus to my sister’s for Christmas, and now I'm stranded in a bus station—in the middle of a blizzard—with a giant package covered in naughty wrapping paper. Then he shows up: Kalen Welles, the football star from my high school fantasies—and offers me a ride. Just when the car is getting cozy, the roads get shut down due to snow. Luckily there’s a nearby cabin where we can hole up for the night. A warm fireplace, cozy blankets, pent-up longing we both spent years ignoring… maybe I’ll be able to unwrap Kalen's big package before Christmas morning. But when the snow clears and the ice melts, will the former football star and the shy nerd finally get a happy ending? Unwrap this sexy holiday story from Opal Carew!

A Monstrum Warrior who has vowed never to Claim a bride… An older woman, who thinks she’s done with Love… Can they come together to save the Earth…and each other? What’s the worst Christmas present imaginable? A cheating husband? An angry mob outside your front door? What about Menopause? Minister Emilia Oxley has gotten all three this Yuletide season and she could do without them all, thank you very much. Enter Chief Commander Rarev, the leader of the Monstrum Kindred. He’s had his eye on Emilia from the start. Her courage and determination are incredibly attractive to him, as are her lovely full curves. Also, he can tell by her scent that she’s entering her Second Mating Period—the time of life when a female is most attractive to a Feline Monstrum. Since Rarev is a Lionus Monstrum, he can’t help but notice that Emilia is ripe for the plucking. After he rescues her from an angry mob, the two of them find themselves on a mission to Rigellen Five. There they must compete against three other couples in a series of Trials to earn the right to mine Yillium. The rare mineral is what the Monstrum need in order to defend the Earth from the Darklings, ravenous creatures from another universe which are threatening to overrun the planet. Only if Em and Rarev win the Rigellen Trials can they gain the rights to the Yillium. But since the Rigellen people believe in public displays affection, the Trials are an intimate affair— extremely intimate. Can Em and Rarev come together to save the Earth…and might they find love in the process? Read Loved by the Lion to find out! *Author's note--there is a scene in here that might bother anyone who has ever been attacked before, but I promise it comes out all right in the end. Please read responsibly!

“I never thought I could want anyone as much as I wanted Nash, then I met you”~Royal When I was sixteen I was afflicted with a terrible curse...I fell in love with my straight best friend. I never thought I’d move past my feelings for Nash and find someone who could love me in return, until the day a gorgeous marine plopped himself down in my chair and asked me to ink him. I’m falling fast for Zade, but my feelings for Nash are still very real. When life starts getting complicated and Nash speaks the words I never thought I’d hear, the only thing I want is for us to find a way to make this work...together. “What if I told you, you'd never have to choose?”~Zade I thought I’d stay in the marines for life, that was the plan. But after a traumatic event I couldn’t make myself re-enlist when my contract was up. Confused and unsure what to do next I called up my best friend for a place to stay. What I didn’t count on was my best friend’s boyfriend practically throwing a sexy tattoo artist at me to keep me busy. Royal is everything I’ve ever wanted and his roommate, Nash, is starting to grow on me, too. “A few weeks ago I thought I was straight. Now I'm sandwiched between two sweaty men. Can't say I do anything half-assed.” ~Nash Of course I’ve noticed that my best friend, Royal is crazy good looking. I have eyes, that doesn’t mean I’m into guys. Although, when I start to notice that his new boyfriend, Zade, is pretty hot too, that makes me start to question things a little. Not to mention the dreams I keep having of the three of us together. I’m willing to try if they are. **This is NOT a love triangle, just good old fashioned man-on-man-on-man love **Every book in the Heathens Ink series can be read as a stand-alone, but it’s way more fun to read them in order.

Some legends describe him as a god, while others say he is a devil that seeks to kill the gods to gain his freedom. They had given him a name... Darious. His plan was to send every demon back into the pit and his weapon was the fury that raged within him. Saving the humans who avoided him like a dangerous plague, Darious was stunned to find emerald green eyes staring up at him without fear. Little did Kyoko know that one smoldering glance could tempt a god and blaze his passion that had only known fury. Surrounded by the guardians that love and protect her, do any of them stand a chance against the black winged angel or the demons that have silently invaded the city? Kyoko finds out that it's hard to run away from Darious when he's faster then she is.

This is not your typical New Adult Romance and weighs on a darker and more erotic side to the New Adult genre. This book is intended for Adults 18 and over due to graphic scenes involving sex, language, rape, violence, drinking and drugs Full length novel with an HEA ending. Carrie Beckett knew fear. Pain, Anger, Terror…she also knew Trust. After escaping a fate that is worse than death Carrie and Noah settle in Gig Harbor with the taste of freedom on the tip of their tongues. Years of abuse so severe, left them both wounded, careful but stronger than life gave them credit for. They knew to trust one another above all things, promising then and there they would never look back... The summer before her final year at UW Carrie agrees to a date with her long time crush who happens to be her brother Noah’s best friend Chad Blake. The tattooed and sexy as sin front-man for rock band Thick as Thieves and the crowned King of Gig Harbor’s bad boys, Chad is a known for a good time, great music, killer tats and a sweet goodbye the morning after... as long as the girl knows the score. Everything he is, is everything Noah wants her far away from. Chad has wanted his best friends sister since she was eighteen but stayed away after Noah warned him that Carrie was off limits. Having been burned in the past, Chad focused on his day job as a tattoo artist and his dream of making it big with his band Thick as Thieves; keeping his bed warm until he had the chance to get Carrie Beckett there and never let her leave. Noah sheltered Carrie as best he could, keeping her as far from his personal life and Chad Blake as he could. He wanted nothing but happiness and freedom for the sister he watched suffer day in and day out. But Carrie is innocent and smart, strong willed with a sassy mouth, all the things Chad loves about her and refuses to deny himself of anymore. Risking it all on a whim, he shows up and asks Carrie to go “All In” and betray her brother for a chance to be together. Carrie is brought into the world of parties, concerts, fangirls and sex- that force her to face the memories of her past in order to move on with Chad as her future. Knowing that love is a reward, trust, a gift, Carrie and Chad fall with a passion so strong, it threatens to break them both. They will battle back all the bad things in life for just a second of good and all the insecurities will come to an explosive head that may just destroy them both

Seven Planets: in a parallel solar system, the people from seven different planets engage in a race against time that will decide their fate. The main characters’ destinies are intertwined with hatred, love and ambition, in an attempt to either govern or free the people of the KIC solar system. Imaginary and unique planets, races and cultures will get together in fantastic adventures in order to fight against their charming enemy's thirst for power.

From paranormal romance author Bella Lore comes a collection of nine epic novellas, guaranteed to make your heart swoon and your jaw drop. In Book #6, PROMISED TO THE ALPHA, Nicole has spent all her life dreaming of who her mate will be. She spends her days roaming the forest, exploring with her best friend Shelby, imagining the future. Until one day, Gavin—the Alpha of a neighboring pack—makes an unexpected visit. Nicole has never heard of such a thing happening before. And when Gavin finally arrives, he says that he’s here to see Nicole—and that a prophecy foretold their meeting. Will Nicole fall for the handsome, powerful Alpha? Is Gavin her fate? Books #7-#9 in the series—THE ALPHA’S BRIDE, THE ALPHA’S DESIRE, and THE LUNA’S CHOICE—are now also available!