funniest things to say Audiobooks

"I, Easton Braylle, son of Norman Braylle and future alpha of the Silver Moon Pack, hereby reject you, Catherine the Slave, to be my mate." Catherine had lost her memories due to trauma from the attack as a child and had been enslaved since the day her parents died at the mere age of 10, or so she thought. She had been bullied, mocked, and tormented after Norman's followers brought her to him forcefully just when she attempted to escape. 8 years later, she discovers who her mate is from the Silver Moon Pack. But that person rejected her after that night...tying her up and throwing her into a cage . But something happened that she least expected...Her memories came flooding back and she met two hot werewolves who both turned out to be her mates!Will she be able to resist the hottest, strongest, most dangerous Alpha alive or the incredibly handsome, super kind, and gentleman Beta of Blood Moon Pack? In the end, she only has to choose one mate to give her love. Who is it going to be??? BOOKS- Born To Be My Luna ( COMPLETED). Alpha's Cursed Luna (ONGOING). Alpha Hunter (ONGOING).

“Assholes! If I was asked to make my last wish, I won’t hesitate to wish you death!” I scream at the top of my lungs. I’m standing at the last space on the rooftop I don’t care if I’m at the edge and one mistake of letting go of my stance might make me fall to my death. But I don’t fucking care! I feel like I have won a lottery, but trust me this feeling is better than winning a lottery. ******Elena hates one of the Quads so much, he has always made life hell for her, but before the summer break of their senior year she has a plan to payback which she did, but then the table turned when she found out she's mated to nobody but the Quadruplet Alphas.Right there she knew she is doomed, she knew she is in trouble after finding out the Quads are her mate and she tried to ruin one's life.The Quads are arrogant and the ones ruling the entire city, when Elena escaped from the city she thought it would only get better from there. But she was forgetting one thing, the Quads rule the city and they are fucking rich kids.When Elena went online on social media, she saw something that breaks all of her confidence, like shattered glasses. "Elena Deloris, anywhere I find you, I will break you. That's a promise, hold it dearly.”- Ryan French - Quad Brothers.

18+ mature content.Alice has her life all sorted, she has a good job, a wonderful fiancee. Apart from a little secret, she was a werewolf, her life was in her control. After losing her parents in a rough attack she had been sent away to live with her aunt, a keeper.Alice was what one would call an urban werewolf who had no intention of finding her mate.But things didn't turn out as expected when the most handsome, powerful and dangerous Alpha of US claimed her as his mate. With her wolf in the heat but her mind warning her against the union. How will she resist being his Luna?

“Please.” Lea whimpered when Manuel withdrew his hand. “Tell me, baby girl. Did your so-called mate make you feel this good? Hmmm?” Manuel whispered huskily. His deep baritone voice sent a pleasurable shiver down Lea’s spine. She shook her head repeatedly, arching her back in desperation and silently asking for more. “Words baby girl. Say what you want and I won’t stop until you trap my tongue deep within your hot core.” Waves of pleasure washed through Lea, her core aching with an unbearable need. Her eyes flashed a steely blue of her wolf’s, her claws extending and digging into the bed. “Just do it, dammit!!” She growled. ****************************Lea had been the Luna of the White cloud pack for five years until the Mafia don, Manuel, Alpha of the Dark Storm pack, stormed into her pack and claimed her as his outrageously. He was confident, oozing with dominance and knew exactly what he wanted. Her. He swept her off her feet and she fell harder than an avalanche on a stormy night. But just like every other too-good-to-be-true love story, things were not as they seem. Alpha Manuel surely had some deadly secrets. Will Lea be able to handle her Alpha’s truth? Or will knowing why he chose her break her beyond repair?

My name is Rose Bailey. I am seventeen years old and about to start my senior year of High school. I have always lived a normal, boring, human life. Never believed in the supernatural or the love at first sight sh#t that others girls my age fall for. That is until I move with my mom and two brothers back to the small town where my mom grew up. My mom makes us stay at this house or should I say castle with a lot of other people living their. Imagine my surprise when I walked in on a man and two women that looked to be 20 or 21 having in a room that looks like an office. Imagine how surprised I was when I was froze in place, unable to move as I felt a sharp pain in my chest from seeing them together as he one from behind while she leaned over a desk from pleasure and the other women was him. The man froze in place and looked at me with a guilty look on his face. The pain got worse in my chest and before I  blacked out I swore I heard him say Mate! 

Love isn't always pretty - especially not when you fall for a Beast. I ran like hell from the tragedy in my past. I didn’t slow down, and I didn’t look back. But I couldn’t outrun the memories...or escape the nightmares. I came to North Carolina to be alone. Hayden Graham attracts problems like a magnet. She's a complication I don't need. This time, the mess she's in has put her life in danger. What she needs is a hero to rescue her. But I'm no knight in shining armor. I'm a wounded animal – a Beast. She tastes like Heaven. She only adds to my Hell. She makes me want things that I can’t have, things I'll never deserve. Love isn't always pretty. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's rough. And sometimes... it's f****ng dirty. Book 1 of 2 in the Beast & Beauty Devil's Blaze Duet COMPLETE STANDALONE Series Books 1-4 are independent of this duet.

Owen was born a rogue. He has lived on neutral territory all his life; over the years, he has made friends with the neighboring packs. Eventually, he opens a night club where several members of different wolf packs, humans, and other supernatural beings work for him. One day an innocent girl comes in with the need for a job. He realizes this is his mate. Will her troubled passed and lack of experience in his world makes him reject her?Melony is a struggling graduate-level student. The death of her in sister a year ago has caused a slump in her life. With her mother continually needing money, bills, and school tuition, she finds a need to take a second job. Her roommate works at a fetish night club and offers to help her get a job. She applies to clean the club, but when she comes in for an interview, the owner has something else in mind. Will she open herself up to his world, or will it be too much for her to handle?

They took us in the middle of the night and forced us to do things together…things I don’t dare admit. They came and took us in the middle of the night—kidnapped us and locked us in an attic—me and my stepbrother Jake. They’re some kind of cult—the Worshipers of the Moon—and they say that Jake and I are the last of the Royal Weres. We’re the last two with the blood of the First Wolf and because of that, we’re their only hope. But now they want me to do things with Jake—things I know I shouldn’t do. Things that could get me in a lot of trouble nine months down the line. It’s frightening, but Jake is protective and gentle—he understands what we need to do in order to get free. The only trouble is, our plan might prove disastrous in more than one way. The cult members keep telling me that Jake is my Alpha and I am his Omega—his to claim, his to take. But when we finally get away from them, we don’t dare to tell anyone what they made us do together. For the penalty for our sins in the Were world…is death. ***Author's Note #1--this is a DARK ROMANCE--some scary things happen to the heroine. However, the hero is not abusive to her--they are in this situation together. But if you have ever been kidnapped or abused, please be aware that parts of this book may be triggering. Please read responsibly. (PS--I promise it turns out okay in the end. ; ) ***Author's note #2--this is a STEPbrother book. There is NO BLOOD RELATION between the hero and the heroine. They are completely UNRELATED. I also want to stress that everyone in this book is OVER 18--none of the characters are underage.***

A Kindred thief who longs for a female to love...An abandoned woman, trying to start again...When the two of them are thrown together, sparks fly.But what happens when Vicky has to pretend she's a professorWho teaches sexual techniques to younger men?You'll have to read Stealing Her Heart to find out. Vicky Erickson is having a lousy Valentine’s Day. First the man she met on the dating app stood her up, then she ripped the expensive dress she was going to return. What else could go wrong? How about having hot Kindred thief run into the bar and beg her to pretend she’s his date? At first it seems like fun and Vicky is willing to play along. But things get dangerous when the lizard-like aliens he stole from come searching for him…and find her instead. Chain is an M-Switch Kindred and a thief. His ability to “snatch” another male’s body for a limited time helps him pull off jobs no one else can handle—but it also makes him a pariah to the rest of Kindred society. No female would ever want to bond with an M-Switch or “Snatcher” as the other Kindred call them, so he has given up on finding love and concentrates on his craft. What he doesn't guess is that his craft will lead him to love...in a round-about way. After landing Vicky in a heap of trouble with the lizard-like Varians he stole from, he takes her with him on his next "job" to keep her safe. But the job happens to be located on a planet where women teach men exactly how they like to be pleased and Vicky has to pose as a sex professor. Can she rise to the occasion and come up with a curriculum of her own? And more importantly, can Chain keep his head while he's...Stealing Her Heart? **Bonus Content: A deleted chapter from Guarding the Goddess you'll want to read if you're a chewchie fan!

Cassandra Swann is about to find out. Because she and her sisters are 1/8th fairy--not enough to do any magic--just enough to get them a Fairy Godmother from hell whose reckless spells makes their lives miserable. When her older sister decides to take the FG to court, Cass gets caught in the crossfire. Hit by their godmother with a disastrous birthday wish, she is in danger of losing what she loves most--her ability to paint. Because the court is in the realm of the Fae, Cass and her sisters have a Court Appointed Elf who acts as their attorney slash bodyguard. But who ever heard of a 6 foot 4 muscular elf with coal-black hair and intense green eyes? Sparks fly the first minute Cass meets Jacobin O'Shea. She resents his high-handed ways and Jake thinks Cass is a spoiled human brat. But after he saves her from a soul-sucker and sees her art, things begin to change between them. But Cass's ability to paint is still screwed up. Every painting she attempts climbs off the canvas and makes trouble in the real world. When the Fae court assigns her a new Fairy Godmother, things get exponentially worse when her new wish multiplies her living art. To make matters even more difficult, Jake's ex-fiancée--a gorgeous, anorexiclly-thin fairy--has Cass in her crosshairs and is determined to ruin anything that might grow between them. And did we mention Cass's grandmother is going on disastrous dates that fill the house with Star Trek conventioneers, bikers, and nudists? It's a mess only magic could make...or fix. Will Cass and Jake ever get past their differences? Will Cass regain her ability to paint without every painting stepping off the canvas? (Really, Fairy Godmother?) And will Cass's grandmother find a man without burning down the house? You'll have to read Be Careful What You Wish For, the second book in the Swann Sisters Chronicles to find out.